Heart Trouble

Today I went to the Cardiologist.  It is something I am doing because of my family history.  This is what concerns him, the history of so many in my family who have the heart trouble and died.  I am having trouble with the medicine.  I am realizing, that I am also having stress that is from keeping things inside. 
I am now reading the book A course in weight loss by Marianne Williamson.  It is now time to reduce my stress by looking at myself.  The beginning task is to identify the things that cause me shame.  Things beyond my control.  So I am forgiving myself for my own mistakes, even though I feel guilty.  I am letting these things go.  I cannot hold onto them any more.  Maybe there will be healing in my heart as I sort through these things.

Money is not how lucky you are

I believe each person is given a certain amount of money to use.  How wisely they use it, will determine the quality of their life.  Right now, I am feeling like I need more money, which feels like a pressure around my heart, only because I have what I need but not what I want. 
I glance into the way it is and feel discontentment.  I just realized that at times I go bonkers and spend money to soothe this ache that is inside.  There is some kind of desire to have more that consumes my thoughts.  This more would make me look like a million bucks, but what would I feel like then?  Would having a wardrobe really satisfy me?  Look at the lives of the rich and famous, and are they okay with what they have?  Money woes are something everyone feels and yet, I have a roof, and food, and I am not naked.  What more do I really need?

Learning

I just learned how to transfer funds.  My daughter does it all the time, but it took me a while to get the swing of it.  So much easier than having to drive to the bank.  I still have to wait for the funds to clear the bank but technology is so much more fun than it used to be.  Wow!  Life does get easier...

Today I see the sun

My granddaughter has the most beautiful song about the sun.  I dreamed about the sun coming out and striking the stones in Jerusalem.  It turned the world gold and pink.  It made me see the world through the eyes of the most spectacular glasses.  When all around you is dark, only the Sun can destroy the darkness.
I always say, wait three days, and everything will change.  No matter how dark it looks, it never stays so might as well wait for the sun to come up.
Three cheers for the creator of the Sun today...